When you unbox the Vooni Boombox, it is mildly amusing. It’s so big, you think it’s a joke. When you try to lift it out of the box, you end up hurting your back, and then you stop laughing. They can’t seriously believe that this is a portable music device? Party speakers in the same weight class tend to be equipped with wheels for a reason. There is indeed a carry strap, but it is only attached with two small screws directly in the thin chipboard, which the entire chassis is made of. The design is ridiculous, and it’s no surprise that the speakers are as sturdy as a cheap IKEA closet.
What it lacks in quality, Vooni compensates with the amount of buttons as well as inputs and outputs. It not only comes with a line input, but an actually guitar input, as well as a wireless microphone. You also get two line outputs. The boombox seems more suitable as a PA system than an actual boombox. Besides Bluetooth, you can play music via USB memory and memory cards. And there is FM radio! Next to the inputs and outputs, there are controls for volume and tone as well as the playback buttons. The front also has a gigantic visual equaliser, but you have to play it at a dangerously high volume for it to show anything whatsoever.
Like the rest of the impression you get of the Boombox, it seems as if no one bothered to listen to the results before Vooni began selling the speakers. The soundscape is unbalanced and totally incoherent. It sounds as if you are listening to a woofer and a tweeter that happen to be close to each other. The bass goes undoubtedly quite deep, but is too indistinct. The mid-range dominates so that voices and certain instruments drown everything else. The treble sounds glaring if you press it. I actually had flashbacks to the 80’s, when buddies swapped speaker drivers in their cars without having any knowledge of acoustics or what worked together.
Let’s imagine that the Vooni Boombox originated as a Vodka & Red Bull-drenched idea at a late night on a beach on Ibiza. How big are the drivers? Enormous. What should it contain? Everything. What sound sources should it have? All of them. What’s the battery life? Incredibly long. But won’t that make it too big and insanely heavy? Perhaps, but it’s just a matter of putting on a huge handle. Won’t it be too expensive? No, we simply screw the standard parts together in a wooden crate. But if it is to be used outdoors, shouldn’t it be robust? Well, I guess you must be a little careful. This is our best idea ever. Who’s buying shots? Not us!